hello world

Why is it that I won't just call and friend and talk but I will write how I am feeling for the whole world to see? Is it because it is 11 p.m. on a Friday night and I feel bad calling so late? And let's get this straight, the whole world does not read my blog but instead 10 people will see this but I need to get some thoughts out and I wanted to do it while I am in this emotional craziness.

1. I feel so pathetic sitting here alone watching a movie and crying. Crying over what? Am I wishing that my life was a fun/happy dream filled story? Am I appreciating that I don't have a terminal illness? Am I frustrated with others having families and mine possibly only including the number two? Do I want to do more with my life? I wish I could go back to the days when I first met Mr. M and relive those feelings, the nervousness, the excitement, the desire to kiss him, to not leave, the dream of never having to say goodbye on Sunday nights so he could drive home to not see each other for another week?

2. Why am I lazy? I want/need to exercise more but why don't I? I need to clean my house better/more, but why don't I? I want/need to show Mr. M more often how much I love him and how important he is to me, but why don't I do it more often? Why do I compare myself to others? Why do I always want more, want what I don't have, and not appreciate what I do have?

3. Is this getting too deep? Are you still with me? I'm not sure I'm still here myself. What do I feel that I need to write something profound and something that might not be me just so more people will read my blog? Wow, I'm feeling a little pathetic here.

4. I want to spend more time with friends but I feel overwhelmed with responsibilities and life and with Mike studying a lot when we get a chance to have down time I just want to spend it with him. Sorry friends for not being with you more.

5. One thing I do know is that I don't read my scriptures enough. There, I said it, I struggle with reading my scriptures. I always have. I love reading them when I do, but it is getting me started that is the hard part.

Okay, I think I am drying up. It seems lately too that I just need to vocalize my thoughts. I just need people to listen and not give me opinions or tell me that things will work out but instead I just want them to tell me how crappy things are and that they feel bad for me. I am sorry if my personal issues is all I talk about to some of you, but thanks for listening. What's sad is that now I want to delete this because I am worried about being embarrassed when I see people next and embarrassed about what they might say about what I just wrote. But I wanted to write my feelings down in my journal and why not do it for the world to see.

I love sewing!

As my title says, I love sewing. However, I can't read a pattern but I can do straight lines, although sometimes they aren't straight (ha).

But I do love to try and I have been able to spend lots of time sewing lately. One project I just finished is a pencil crayon/crayon holder. This one I made is for pencil crayons specifically.

Dress design for Shabby Apple dresses

**I am sad to say that I did not make the cut. Thanks for the vote anyway Sachie! Some day.


This is my design for the Shabby Apple dresses design contest.

I had so many ideas running through my head but this one kept coming to me. I wish I could enter them all but I don't know if that is allowed.

Now other than hemming my pants and sewing a few quilts I am not a seamstress, but my ideas for fabric and color are as follows:

Fabric: I don't want anything too clingy so I figure a good cotton/spandex blend would be nice. Mostly cotton.
Colors: I love the idea of a darker purple with maybe a hint of grey or cream as an accent. Right now I am also loving the combination of salmon and grey.

My design inspiration: I am not sure where I thought of the layering idea but I wanted something to swoop from one side to the other and then vice versa, with another layer underneath. But I wasn't sure how that would look so on my sketch I opted for just one big swoop and then a smaller underneath. My friend has a dress that has elastic on the edging and it gives the dress a ruffled look without being too 80's ruffle. Do you know what I mean? I also really like sleeves to the elbow and I like Japanese style collars.

So, if I am chosen vote for me! Check out www.shabbyapple.com to see what Dare to Design is all about. You will love their clothes.

mini holiday/5th anniversary

Boost

Well, you know it is back to school time when everyone gets sick! I have been sick for a week and thanks to free cable for two months I have become addicted to shows like What Not to Wear, The Last 10 Pounds, Hoarders, etc. These shows always give me the boost I need to exercise more, declutter, and to get my butt going! The only problem is that it seems I usually have to make my house more messy in order to organize it. Anyone else feel like that?

So, here is to some belated spring cleaning and hopefully a tidier house!

Oh, and on a happier note after my last post, Mike will be starting school in October! We finally made a decision and it feels good to feel like our life is finally starting to go somewhere. I know no news is good news sometimes, but it was really time for something to happen, so I am excited for Mike to be doing something he enjoys. I just thought I would brag about some of my Young women. We had a great temple trip to Regina. I wanted to post a picture so this is what you get.

Have a good week!

pity party for me

Okay people, I'm sorry, but this is not going to be an uplifting post.

I get that we are supposed to be patient and that things are for "our learning and our good", but SERIOUSLY...does that mean waiting for FOUR years (yes four...and counting) to start our family. I don't know how much more I can take. Tests. Money. WAITING. Money. Tests. WAITING. Surgery. Wait. Tests. Adoption papers. WAIT. Wait.

Boo.

Boo on it all.

pictures

Our camp site at Battleford Provincial Park

The view from our campsite....looking towards Jackfish lake

Playing Scattegories with the Mulholland's by the lake

Thanks Leigh for the Tornado. It saved our breath and got our fires going!

Skipping rocks

Austin with his special puzzle from Grandma. He did it almost all by himself!

Now who doesn't love a good lego session?! Tyson and Connor made me wait to take the picture until they got their lego men set up where they wanted them.

My birthday cake. Mike always thinks of witty things to put on the cake.

Sisters!

These are the twins in our family. My Grandpa and Uncle (in the picture) are twins, then my mom had twins (my brother and I) and then my sister had twins. The myth that having twins skips a generation is not true. At least in our family!

This was quite the gong show trying to get all of the nieces/nephews/cousins to stand somewhat still to get a picture taken.

Apparently we like to skip rocks. The kids had a blast in the mud.

Here is a picture of the quilt Christine and I are making. We have since switched the order of the squares but you get the idea. There is a star, tree, and Christmas ball. We are making matching quilts. I am sorry if you get sick of me talking about getting something on sale but we got a steal.of.a.deal. That material the squares are laying on is actually a king size duvet cover! We got them for $30 dollars each!!!